I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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