Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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