He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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