Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just google imaged poop.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
