last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
