How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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