I'm jealous of your bromance
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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