We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
