I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
