Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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