if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
