Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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