Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
