Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
