this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
