I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
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she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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