So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
