This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
