There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize