Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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