I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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