..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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