i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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