I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
