New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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