Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
