I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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