yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
