so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
