eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
