I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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