Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
