Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
