We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
