Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
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