she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
