i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
we should paint friendship bongs
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