I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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