girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
