He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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