Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
tell me about the fingering
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