Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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