I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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