No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
