did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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