exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
