are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
