if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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