i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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