You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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