..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
