so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
