Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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