yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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