I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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