i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
