he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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