i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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