how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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