I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
ttyl tear gas
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
