I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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