He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
