my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize