What a fucking waste of an outfit
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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