Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
