he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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