Im at strip club and am horny
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
