im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize