like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
