Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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