i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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