I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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