Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
