Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
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You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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