i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
