Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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